FOOD FOR THOUGHT
You are what you eat, and I’m tired of feeling like junk. So, guess what? I’m finally doing something about it.
Since adolescence I’ve used unhealthy foods to deal with uncomfortable feelings of anxiety, stress and depression comparable to a drug addict or an alcoholic. I’m 45 now, and this has been a big issue in my life for the last 30 years. I’m 5-foot-6-inches tall and I’ve been as heavy as 215 pounds and as light as 125 pounds, but no matter what weight I’ve been, I’ve never given up on the junk.
Even when I was at my lowest weight, which turned out to be too thin to maintain, I still consumed lots of candies, refined carbs and diet sodas, so I was never the picture of health.
“You’re a thin person in a fat person’s body,” a gym owner once told me in my second hour on his sweat-soaked treadmill. I was insulted at the time, but he was right. I was skinny from my calorie-restricted diet and my workout overloads, but I wasn’t healthy. As always, I was treating my body like a garbage disposal unit.
Why? Initially I didn’t know any better. As a tween I slept with bricks on my stomach thinking that would flatten my belly. It didn’t. As a teen working at McDonalds, I’d survive on Big Macs and chicken nuggets, gain weight, and then suddenly limit myself to grapefruit juice and mixed nuts. Of course I’d lose weight on a silly diet like that, but I’d always gain it back.
After succeeding and failing on so many different diets over the years, I started learning more about my physical make-up as well as what’s psychologically driving me to self-sabotage when I’m just starting to feel and look good.
This is a complicated issue, and anyone who thinks dieting is pure mathematics obviously doesn’t have the same problems that I, and millions of others do when it comes to food addiction. Or perhaps I should say junk addiction, because it’s not real food that’s the issue. It’s the processed crap that passes for food in the grocery store and often has little or no nutritional value whatsoever.
“I stick to the outside perimeter of the store when I go grocery shopping,” my friend told me recently. “Haven’t you ever noticed that all the packaged stuff that our bodies don’t need is in the middle aisles?”
I have noticed that, and I’ve had that pointed out to me many times. Yet just because you know the facts doesn’t mean you’ll make wise decisions. Any smoker can tell you that.
As I mentioned, I’m tired of feeling like junk, so I’m not putting any more of it into my body. No more pop, candy, processed foods or anything else that ends up making me feel gross.
It’s easy to say these words in a moment of strength, but what will I do when I get that overwhelming desire to self-sabotage like I always do? My plan is to write about the experience in a journal and record everything I consume on MyFitnessPal.com, a free diet and fitness site supporting people with health goals.
I want to know the reason I deliberately spoil my well-laid plans, and the trick to conquering this behaviour. I think it’s different for everyone, but if anyone wants to share what worked for them, please leave a comment below or contact me here.
Knowledge is power, and I’m ready to accept any advice that will help me climb out of my garbage can.
Jul 04, 2012 @ 19:53:53
What’s that I hear? Could it be a coffee and Bailey’s?
Will you be able to turn that one down? If you need help getting rid of those tempting bottles you have in storage feel free to call…coffee and Bailey’s withdrawl is not a problem if you have friends help you take care of the stock. Hey, it’s the least I could do.
Bottoms Up! …. oops, Cheers…oops, sorry again… I meant take care
Jul 04, 2012 @ 18:20:40
I LOVED your article in todays paper! Wow, this really spoke to me. I eat emotionally as well…and it sure isnt salads that im choosing in these moments of turbulance, or even boredom to have a bit of respite from my kiddos. Thanks for keeping it real girl!
Jul 04, 2012 @ 18:18:42
Hi Lori,
I think we all practice self-sabotaging behaviours at one time or another. I believe it our perception that we can’t or are not good enough, to succeed at whatever it is we may be trying to do. I also think it can be completely subconscious at times.
And what a hard habit this behaviour can be to break.
So how do we fix it? My guess is it comes down to our mind set. Our self esteem and our personal virtues. When we are able to make that shift into “deserving” mode, the self-sabotage will cease. The trick is getting there….
Just my thoughts
Jul 04, 2012 @ 18:10:50
Lori:
Your column in the Kelowna Courier on Sunday, July 1, 2012, struck a note. I too have struggled with my weight all my life, and have tried a multitude of crash diets over my adult life. I am 5’5″ (on a good day), and have weighed up to 228 lbs. In July 2011, after a family member had a heart attack, I finally got serious about my own health issues. After watching a Dr. Oz episode in which he highly recommended Weight Watchers as a healthy means to lose weight, I joined online. It is probably the least costly program I have been on. I have lost 33 lbs so far. Not great strides, but I am happy with it. The weight has come off slowly, and I am confident that this time it will stay off because I am not dieting but making healthy lifestyle changes. Both my husband and I are benefitting. I feel great and neither my husband nor I had a cold this past year. At the age of 66 I am returning to full time employment as a legal assistant to cover a co-worker’s maternity leave fo
r a year. I plan to stick with WW until I reach my goal in about 15 lbs., and become a Lifetime Member. I do fall of the wagon occasionally, so to speak, but instead of throwing my hands in the air and quitting like I have done in the past, I get right back on again. I know different things work for different people, but I wanted to share that WW is working for me. If you plan to use excerpts of replies you receive to your column, please do not use my name.
Thank you for an always interesting column.
Jul 04, 2012 @ 18:09:26
Hi Lori. I read your article about junk food and I had just been to a raw food presentation by the Raw Food Society of BC (rawbc.org). We had been discussing these very things about how certain foods can be like a drug and it keeps you from enjoying eating real food (meaning fruits, vegetables and nuts in their raw, natural state). But I found that when I ate raw food for 5 months that my enjoyment of simple things like salads grew once I cut out most of that stuff, plus I lost weight, had excellent elimination and felt overall much better. I did this last year over the summer. When the weather got cooler I turned to cooked food again. However, one thing that I did not change was my morning meal. For breakfast I ate fruit and green smoothies. Green smoothies are the easiest way for you to add raw food to your diet. It’s simply 40 % leafy greens (kale, spinach, lambs quarters, etc.), 60% fruit and water. For a regular blender you can use soft fruits and leaves such as mango, b
anana, strawberries, anything in season. For more info on green smoothies: http://greensmoothiesblog.com/
I hope this helps. Even if you don’t eat an entirely raw vegan diet, you will help your body by consuming more raw fresh fruits nuts and vegetables to get the enzymes, vitamins, minerals and fiber you need. The green smoothie is an easy way to start.
Jul 04, 2012 @ 18:07:15
Dear Lori,
I read your Sunday column, “Nuts to Junk Food” with a feeling of “I’ve been there.” I wanted to tell you that I’m no longer “there.” What worked for me is going to a more ethical (and healthy) diet. Where in the old days, I would sometimes wake up craving food and feel that way all day, now I can eat anything I want (I choose not to eat animal products), and I never have that “out of control” feeling. I also don’t have to obsess about what I eat, and weigh, measure and track everything I eat. To give you an idea of what this is all about, I’d highly recommend the DVD: Forks Over Knives. You could also read: Veganist by Kathy Freston. This way of eating is better for our health, better for animals, and better for the environment. I can’t tell you how happy I am to be eating this way. I never feel deprived, and I never feel like I need to eat all the time–cravings for junk food are gone. I hope this helps. I hope you give it a try. Reading your column brought back old unhappy memories for me, and I wanted to share with you how I found eating freedom.
Cheers!