TEFLON BRAIN – NOTHING STICKS
As quickly as a thought enters my mind, it often exits even faster. And the older I get, the more this seems to be the case.
We need milk, bread and cheese, I might think to myself, chanting the words repeatedly inside my head until I can find a pen to write them on my hand. Oh right, we need some dental floss too. Oh good ““ I found a pen. Now what was it I needed again?
For as long as I can remember I’ve been a “list girl”, making “to-do” lists, “to get” lists and “to write” lists.
“Sam!” our six-year-old daughter yelled at her nine-year-old brother the other day in the car when she didn’t like the tone he used with her. “That is no way to speak to a woman!”
Finding that funny and not wanting to forget, I pulled over to the side of the road to write it down. If I hadn’t, I’m quite certain I would have forgotten her exact words, or maybe that she had said it at all.
Even in my dreams I’ll be inspired creatively and sometimes get a seemingly brilliant idea, but within seconds of waking up I’ve lost it forever. Unless, of course, I’m lucky enough to record it before it escapes my overcrowded brain.
As a result of my ongoing problem, I have a lot of pens, note pads and sticky notes in my life.
“Are you kidding me here?” my friend asked the other day when she got in my car and saw all the Post-its that were stuck to the dashboard. “Are you feeling a little overwhelmed or something?”
But that’s the thing about getting these thoughts out of my head and onto the paper ““ I immediately feel less overwhelmed. Once it’s written down, I no longer have the stress of trying to remember. It’s actually an enormous relief.
Of course, if one of those notes falls off my dashboard and gets stuck to the bottom of my shoe and then disengages itself from me outside of my car I might be in big trouble. This happened the day I lost the “get gas” note and ended up stuck on the bridge for almost an hour, without fuel.
I then needed to write a new note: “pay ticket.” Naturally that one was far less urgent.
Lily Tomlin once described having “Teflon brain ““ nothing sticks.” I first heard this phrase when I was a kid and I didn’t get it. As a busy working mother of two, I now understand it all too well.
“You have your bag behind your car,” someone informed me one day as I was hurrying my kids into the beetle bug to get one of them to soccer and one of them to baseball.
“Thanks!” I said. “It’s my laptop! I wouldn’t want to drive over that!”
After getting the kids buckled up, their bags into the front seat and running back into the house again for their water bottles, I jumped in the car and backed out of the driveway and onto the road.
“What’s that sound?” the kids asked me after I wondered the exact same thing.
“That’s my computer wedged under the car and scraping along the road,” I said far too calmly, pulling over to assess the damage.
Perhaps I could use a few Post-its that say: “slow down”, “breathe” and “don’t rely on sticky notes.”


May 26, 2010 @ 21:36:20
Hi Lori, great column…. shoot, forgot what I was going to write?….. I cant believe how often this happens
thank you , it is nice to know I am not alone….
May 25, 2010 @ 17:53:18
Dear Lori,
I had no idea about these skits that you were doing. I read your column all the time – but my paper has never made mention of them which is a real shame if you ask me. Luckily I noticed your icon and curiosity got the best of me when I came on to send you a message. First of all, I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoy your writing and your perspective. Secondly, your videos are quite hilarious! I’m so glad I found them. They’re very professional – you and your grumpy co-hort should be proud of your accomplishments. Not many people put so much effort into making their readers smile like you do. And you do it with unique sincerity – how lovely. Keep up the good work! I look forward to reading and watching you next week!
Len
May 24, 2010 @ 15:14:20
Lori,
Is this about you or me? Too funny!
And these skits you’re doing are a fantastic addition! It reminds me of British humour.
I look forward to your column and skits every week!
Keep up the great work! You’re a breath of fresh (and funny) air! And so is Lisa!
Linda
Since my name starts with an “L” too, could I be in one of your skits? haha
May 24, 2010 @ 12:31:38
That’s funny, I just bought the exact same Snuggie at that store in the mall a few weeks ago. Love the vids.
May 24, 2010 @ 11:18:09
hahaha this is soooo me. i still write stuff on my hand like i used to in high school
May 24, 2010 @ 07:31:33
Made my morning, my wife’s sister has that forgetful thing, went to work with a shoe of each kind . I have to show this to my son because he has toenails like lisa roflmao. Keep the funnies coming. Thanks for the morning smile.. must be a lot of people watching I couldn’t open the page until today,, Too Busy website said. TT
May 23, 2010 @ 19:59:20
OMG!!! This one is hysterical! HOW did she do that with the mustard??!!! Keep it up ladies!!!
May 23, 2010 @ 15:25:50
I hear you sister! After reading your column I pressed play on your latest video, saw that coffee time logo and thought oh yes, I’ll have a coffee. Paused the video, got up to get a cup from the coffee maker and walked by the glass of juice I had poured for myself before I sat down at the computer 5 minutes earlier. I don’t know if I have teflon brain or peri-menopausal ADD. Thanks for letting me know I’m not alone!
May 22, 2010 @ 21:47:32
Hi Lori
Another great column! Bring Lisa out to one of our meetings that should get her perky and raise her cup to at least half full.
Keep it up, love the video to go with the column, really nice touch.
Norm